Birds of a feather stick together, but what about birds who are as entirely different as a tiny hummingbird and giant, plastic lawn flamingo? Couldn’t they stick together, even find joy in what their differences have to offer?
Who do you enjoy for the ways they are different from you?
If I had put this relationship in the context of differences at the beginning, I doubt if it would have materialized. By coincidence, Hugh, his wife Janet and I met at a wedding shower of the son and to–be at a mutual friend’s home. We started talking about “Spanish”. The conversation ended there until 15 or so years later when all three of us were in a Tai Chi class. Hugh (now Hugo), interested in learning more Espanol, and I agreed to start an informal Spanish group. It has lasted almost a year with people coming and going to the twice monthly gatherings with our maestra (teacher), Dina, from El Salvador and other presenters. Last evening we celebrated with a Fiesta and it was almost Latin American in flavor, good food, loud danceable music, lots of chatter and many smiles. The differences melted away. Hugh, a large Black American man from Chicago who taught music in the public schools in this midwestern city and I a not too plump Caucasian library consultant, teacher, Peace Corps member in Peru, have become fast friends and congratulate ourselves on our accomplishments together.
My best friend in college was bubbly, very feminine woman who gave many people hugs for the slightest occasion. She had many friends. She was Christian. She struggled academically and came from a poor family. These are just a few ways in which she was different from me. There were similarities as well, of course, and some of them helped us bond. However, I also treasured her precisely because she was different: her cheerful, outgoing, fun nature reminded me of the good side of life and distracted me from the problems within my own life.
Martin, you have posted a very important idea, I think. We grow more as individuals when we bond with others who are different from us. It takes courage, sometimes.