“Grace under pressure isn’t just about bullfighters and men at war. It’s about getting up every day to face a job or a white boss you don’t like but have to face to feed your children so they’ll grow up to be a better generation.”
—Ernest Gaines
What kind of pressure in your life demands that you find your own kind of grace?
Many years ago I started using the image of the bullfighter as a way to deal with
‘attacks’ which is often the attending feeling in stressful situation. To help me stay balanced and not allow myself to be gored in times of pressure summon my red cape and allow the ‘charge’ to pass by … as I acknowledge it…and say ole! This preserves my ability to deal with it as needed without being wounded by it as it were. Now one has to turn around and pay attention to where the bull went as the cape isn’t a portal into another world and that ‘bull’ is still in the ring. But this helps me check any visceral reaction I may be experiencing and respond rather than react. OLE.
Layne, that is a very interesting mental visual you have developed! I say OLE to that too!
Pressure, for me, comes when I am in a discussion group and it appears that, as the discussion goes along, the consensus is contrary to what I think. I want to have my opinion heard and when included in the discussion, I try to express my opinion in a way that does not appear to be just a personal one, such as “I think that…” rather something like, “We can see perhaps that…”. However, there are certainly the times when my opinion is not considered but I think that at least it has been part of the dialogue. It is at that time that I try gracefully (?) to appear unruffled and stop adding my two cents worth. I hope that this appears as graceful acceptance and that I will be able to be there to fight another “battle” another day.
I’m curious: what is the rational for talking for others (“we”) rather than just yourself (“I”)?
I think that when a person is in a group, if that person expresses his/her opinion even though it seems contrary to the main stream, it sometimes encourages other people to speak up and agree so that the consensus can be one that represents the group rather that one person challenging the group alone. If not, then it’s time to fold your tent. I don’t know if this is a clear explanation on my part, but I think it’s the way to go. Thanks for your question,
Martin.
Dealing with my mother-in-law requires a special kind of grace. I’m thankful that grace isn’t just the smell of fresh-cut lavender, but that it is a compelling and empowering sort of unction to do what is right, for my wife’s sake and for the sake of my children, who absolutely adore that heartless witch. 😉