The shadow side of belonging appears when our deepest sense of community and place comes into conflict with others’ deepest sense of community and place. Who belongs? becomes literally a matter of life and death, and the ways to choose life far from obvious.
When has your sense of belonging come into direct conflict with someone else’s? What did you do?
I have been in a friendship with someone at both professional and personal levels for many years. I see the sterling qualities that she has: loving, thoughtful gifts; help when asked to do or provide something; communications with thought provoking articles. The down side is that I find that in direct communication, her pessimistic attitude (apparent to me) and opinions without any further discussion between us unnerve me. I want to have a level playing field so that both of our opinions can be aired . I don’t find this possible. Therefore, I accept what I see as good in our relationship and avoid the negative as unacceptable and not solved.