The grand cliffs by the ocean and the smooth sand under your feet are the same thing—rocks at different stages of their lives. You don’t know what something or someone is unless you know their story.
Whose story do you wish you knew?
4 thoughts on “Rocks and Sand”
Comments are closed.
I wish I knew more about my great grandparents.
They all died before I was born, except for my mom’s maternal grandmother who died when I was 10. She became a mother very young–I’m not sure she was even 16–and then became a grandmother and great-grandmother young too. So she was alive when was a kid, 76 or so when she died. I still have some toys she handmade for me.
I was named after my mom’s paternal grandmother, who died when my mom was pregnant with me. Her paternal grandfather came from Italy. I can only imagine the stories he had.
My dad’s maternal grandmother was a wonderful woman. My middle name is for her. She watched the kids while my grandmother worked at the 5 and dime (she and grandfather owned it), and I really need to sit down with Dad about her.
Unfortunately but inevitably, there were some unsavory characters in my family tree, but I would be interested in knowing if that’s where my bipolar came from. Was the violent drunkard self-medicating? Was abandoning the family and womanizing a result of manic impulsivity?
I regret that I blew my chance to talk to my maternal grandmother about her family. I always said that I had to do it soon, but now she’s severely hearing impaired and has dementia, so it’s too late.
This is a situation of my relationship with a somewhat younger first cousin whom I knew slightly as a child and when she was a little girl since we were geographically separated. During our adulthood, we have become closer; we are each only children and this perhaps lets us become better acquainted. She tells one story abut her strained relationship with her mother to the point of extreme dislike of her. I, on the other hand, had a loving relationship with the same woman, as my favorite aunt. I don’t believe that I will ever be able to uncover this disparity. I wish I could since it is a subject that we do not discuss in any meaningful way. I wish there were a third party that we could turn to but I doubt if this will ever happen.
Hi Patt!
Yeah, that does sound weird how a negative mother is also somehow your loving aunt. But I’ll put in my 2 cents.
My aunt adores me. She thinks I’m awesome, and doted on me when I was a kid and teen. Meanwhile, she basically hated her son, who is a year older than me, at least as smart as me, and a decent kid. It started when she resented getting pregnant (ending her party girl days). Then he didn’t get some award or something in elementary school, and she flipped out (she was never stable). And it went downhill from there. My mom offered to take him (we had a big house and a spare room), get him off auntie’s hands, and out of trouble (i.e. the city and potential or imagined gang ties). Auntie said no thanks.
So, I’ve seen how it can be that one person can be like wildly different people in their different relationships. I’d say to trust that it’s her experience, and yours was different. Enjoy the relationship you have with your cousin now! 🙂
Thanks, Maggie. What you’ve just said helps me to try to understand how someone can be a different person with different people. It was kind of your mom to try, anyway. You’re right too, that my cousin and I can be friends now, anyway!