“I believe that we’re all entitled to our pain—that there’s no hierarchy of grief or fear, in which someone else’s pain invalidates our own. If anything, giving voice to our pain metabolizes it; we come to hold it instead of it holding us. Better yet, sorrow is an invitation to recalibrate our hearts so that we can view one another with both more gentleness and a sense of recognition: You too? Me too! It’s like a homing device, pinging out our longing for connection.” -Erika Hewitt
What is the sorrow and pain that you are feeling today? Give it voice.
My grandfather, through marriage, died just before Christmas 2021. We’ve all been skirting around our grief until this past Tuesday when we could finally have a memorial service. Last night, we had a small family get together and my grandma made a comment that she felt her husband should have been there doing something, but someone else had to.
That’s what makes the absence of someone feel more real. I was with her in her grief, and gently said, “I know. I understand.”