Integrity: Firm adherence. When I look at the words firm adherence, I think of my Dad, whose life was filled with FIRM adherence. When the cashier gave Dad too much change after a transaction, Dad would turn it into a math lesson, and explain that they had given him too much, and he would return the 1 cent that belonged to the store. When I picked a rose from the neighbor’s rose bushes and gave it to my Dad, he asked that I ring the doorbell of the neighbor and apologize.
Because Dad was filled with so much truth, I could never reveal to him that I was struggling and cheating my way through middle and high school. I could not approach him. I was, in his value system, without integrity, and so I couldn’t approach him with my struggles.
-Beth Murray (CLF)
When has integrity been a barrier to your relationships?
What a powerful Daily Compass! I was admiring Beth Murray’s dad. It reminded me of BOTH of my parents. My dad would not do the “math lesson” though. He would just give the money back and say to the cashier, “I don’t want your drawer to come up short when they count it tonight.” (We working-class folk understood that there were consequences to the workers themselves beyond the few cents or $1.00 erroneously given to us.)
Then I was SHOCKED to read that Beth Murray was cheating in middle school and could not ask her dad for help with her education.
I have a similar story. I was the OTHER END of the cheating story. In spite of my parents’ firm adherence to integrity, when a popular cheerleader I had grown up with BEGGED me to do her algebra homework and take a social studies make-up test for her, I did it!
I told her that I would HELP her understand these subjects because she would need them for college. She said, “I am NOT going to college!”
After a few months of being used, I started avoiding her, and the friendship died a gradual death since I wasn’t around when she wanted me to serve her. I NEVER actually said, “NO, I will not help you cheat and WASTE my free time doing YOUR work for you!” I was scared of my own shadow in those years, and I knew how to hide. So I did.
This Daily Compass affected me in a powerful way!
Thank you for letting us know! One of the wonderful parts of featuring the diverse voices of the CLF staff is the ability to make connections like this.
Yours,
Rev. Michael